


Friends and Egos

by fringeperson



Category: Neko no Ongaeshi | The Cat Returns
Genre: Don't copy to another site, F/M, I had no idea what I was doing when I wrote this and I know better now, Old Fic, but I'm not going to deny its existance just because it's old and bad, no ones feelings are getting respected
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:42:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27449593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fringeperson/pseuds/fringeperson
Summary: I sort of made Louise a villain.~Originally posted in '08Unwanted suitors who don't understand why they're being rejected, hurrah!
Relationships: Baron Humbert von Gikkingen/Yoshioka Haru
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I warn you again, this is Very Old Writing - and I haven't changed anything except a couple of typos.

"What's his name, Haru?"

"Who?"

"The guy you think is cooler than me."

"Machida, you have the _biggest_ ego. There are _lots_ of guys that are cooler than you."

"Name one."

"Tsuge."

"Does Hiromi know you think that?"

"Tsuge is my _cousin_ , and I've been pushing them together for ages. I'm not about to set my best friend up with a guy who _isn't_ cool."

"Why won't you go out with me then?"

"The answer is _no_ Machida. I'm just not interested. Besides, I have to study."

The brunette closed the garden gate between herself and her year-mate and turned a frosty shoulder to him as she walked calmly to her front door.

He had walked her home after school every day that week. Monday he'd asked if she'd like to do something on Friday night. She said she'd think about it, and every day he'd walk her home and ask her if she'd reached her decision. Yesterday, Thursday night, she had, and now he was pestering her about it.

"Mum, I'm home!" she called, taking off her shoes in the entryway.

Silence greeted her. That was surprising, Naoko hadn't said anything about a business trip that morning. The girl who was now in her second year of college started searching the house. In the kitchen, lying innocently on the bench, was a piece of paper.

Haru, sorry about this, urgent appointment with a new client – wish I could have said goodbye first, but there wasn't the time to wait for you. By the time you're reading this, I'll be on the plane to Kyoto, and I'll be gone for at least a week. Don't worry, there's enough money and food in the house for you to be able to manage without me for that long, no problem. If I end up having to stay longer, and I'm afraid that it's a very real possibility, I'll transfer an extra thou. to your account. Lots o' luv, your mum.

Haru sighed. Another week, maybe longer, with just her in the house. Bother. She had wanted Naoko's help with some of the harder trig. questions too.

Oh well. Dinner was the thing to think about now. It wasn't like she couldn't survive on her own – she could, she had a weekend job and knew how to cook and all that sort of thing… It was just… lonely sometimes, in a house built for three, and being only one. Yeah, built for three. Her, her mum, and her dad – that was who was _supposed_ to be living here, but mostly now, it was just her. Her mother worked a lot, and her dad… Her dad had run off with another woman and gotten himself hit by a truck. It was almost perfect karma. He had left _his_ wife for the _wife of another man_. That had been years ago though, when Haru was just five, and the house hadn't quite been finished yet. Life had thoroughly adjusted by now.

It was just her, so she pulled out some of last night's leftovers and stuck them in the microwave. It would do. She'd cook tomorrow night; she wasn't in the mood right now.

Tomorrow is Friday, don't tell me you're going to stay home on a Friday night and just make dinner for yourself?

"You bet your bootlaces," she answered herself, trying very hard to not feel down about the whole thing.

"Bet my bootlaces what?" a voice from the window asked.

"Oh, hi Toto, sorry, I was talking to myself," Haru said as she went to open the window further, allowing the large crow entry.

"Good, because I don't wear bootlaces."

That made her smile. Really – trying to picture Toto doing _anything_ with bootlaces, it tickled _her_ funny bone at least. The brunette covered her mouth before she started to giggle.

The microwave finished. The brown-eyed girl took her now hot meal to the table and started eating, politely.

"What's prompted this visit? Muta getting too unbearable in his quest to tone up?"

The week before, Toto had come around, almost in a fit of hysterics, to tell her that Muta had finally gotten sick of all the wise-cracks about he weight and was going to prove that he was more muscle than fat. He was still eating as much as ever, but now he was also exercising – push-ups, sit-ups, running laps around the refuge, chin-ups, boxing invisible opponents, the full enchilada.

The workout was often _followed_ by a full enchilada.

"No, he's actually looking better for it. He isn't thin or anything, but I can't call him a marshmallow any more. The ex-fatso is genuinely a large cat, big bone structure. No, I came to see you on a wholly different matter."

Haru put her fork down and listened intently. She hadn't liked the sound of Toto's voice when he said that.

"Louise has reappeared."

Haru suddenly bore a striking resemblance to a fish – mouth opening and closing, but no sound coming out, eyes nearly popping out of her head.

It was like finding out that Darth Vader was your father, or that Hiroshima had been bombed, or the black death had just evolved to be resistant to all their antibiotics. Only it was worse.

Toto had told Haru about Louise some time ago. She was a cat doll, like Baron, and apparently believed that they were engaged to be married – a belief, Toto assured her, that Baron did not share. Louise was also something of a Wicked Witch of the West – all nastiness, and possessive, but beautiful despite how twisted her soul had become.

The reason black cats are considered bad luck. That was how Louise had been described to Haru. Oh, when she was made, Louise had been white, but the outside must reflect the inside somehow, and her pelt had changed from the purest glowing white to the darkest black, without even a gloss to the coat – as though it sucked in light, and reflected nothing back.

"We were, all three of us, wondering if we could possibly shelter here, with you, until she has given up waiting for us at the Bureau?" Hope was plastered all over the dark avian's sharp features.

"Toto," Haru started, her voice finally coming to her, and there was a hint of warning to it. "According to _you_ , Louise won't _ever_ give up. Don't get me wrong, I love your company, but feeding Muta every day, and seeing Baron –" she bit down on her words.

A week after the Cat Kingdom incident, Toto had started visiting her, checking up on her, listening to her woes and joys and sharing the latest news of what was happening at the Bureau, as well as some less recent. The bird _knew_ how she felt about the cat doll, which was why he had told her about Louise in the first place.

"I'm sorry Haru, it wasn't my place to ask."

"No, of course it was – that's the sort of thing friends are for," the pale brunette rubbed her eyes and sighed, coming to a decision. "You can stay until my mum gets back from her business trip. After that, we'll have to figure out something – I don't know how she's going to take having an extra three bodies in the house."

Rubbing her face as she considered what she might have just let herself in for, Haru smiled weakly at Toto.

"If Louise comes _here_ though, I'm going to try and break her."

Toto almost gasped. The feline may have been something of a she-devil, but she was still a Creation, and the thought of destroying her, a rare marvel, seemed akin to murder. On the other hand, she should probably have been turned into firewood a long time ago.

He nodded his understanding and flew out the window again – intent on taking his tidings to his feline associates.

The girl sighed and kept eating.


	2. Chapter 2

"Toto, I don't like you going off and making such dangerous requests like that without consulting me."

"Baron, relax. I wasn't asking on your behest, and Haru knows that."

"Nevertheless, the danger she will be putting herself in for all of our sakes, simply because you _asked_ her to…" the orange cat ran out of words, so tumultuous was he frustration.

"Baron, there was something else," Toto said, hanging his black feathered head. "Haru said that if Louise showed up at her house, she would break her."

The gentleman cat looked up sharply, though his expression was unreadable.

For a while he was still and silent, like in his wooden form. At last, he moved again, taking his cup of tea and sitting down in a plush red chair with a sigh.

"That is probably for the best," he conceded with a quiet sigh. It felt like he was betraying his maker, saying that, but the idea of a world without Louise in it… It was worryingly appealing.

"So we're uprooting and moving to Chicky's place, huh?"

"So it would seem."

"Try not to burden her with your eating habits Moo-ta."

"You won't get me to rise to that any more, Chicken-wings, because I know that you only say it because you like the sound of it. The implications no longer apply."

Baron hid his smile behind his teacup. Muta being snobby and condescending was a truly novel and amusing sight. Though it would get tiresome very quickly, he was sure.

Thursday night became Friday morning, and the trio arrived at Haru's back door – to avoid notice in time to hear the sound of monotonous beeping and mumbled moaning issuing from one of the upper windows.

"I think, perhaps, that it would have been better for us to come as she returns from school in the afternoon."

"I agree, it's way too early to be awake."

"Says the ex-lard-ball who'd already run three laps of the refuge before the rest of us woke up."

"You three get in here and keep it down," a voice said from above them.

They looked up to see that Haru had opened the door to them and was staring down at them, sleep still in her eyes.

"I'll be at school until four. Baron, don't let them make a mess of the house, okay? Oh, I need tea…" she said, turning her back on them and going inside once more.

She'd heard them outside. It doesn't take a schoolgirl practiced in the art of frantic dressing long to put on her uniform, so she was dressed when she opened the door. The tea she had prepared the night before, so the leaves had been steeping all night, she just had to make it hot again.

While it boiled, she packed her lunch and made sure that she had everything that she was going to need for the last day of term. She scoffed internally – it was amazingly convenient that. School was finished, her mother was away, and she had three houseguests that she didn't know how to explain. Life: love it or hate it, it threw some amazing curve balls.

"Tea Baron?"

"Yes please Miss Haru."

He had even brought his own cup, which was very sensible, since none of the ones in Haru's house would be small enough for him.

"Milk or lemon?" she asked, pouring milk into her own cup.

"Milk please."

A white drop fell carefully from the lip of the jug into the tiny vessel.

"Miss Haru?"

The brunette looked back to the feline gentleman as she headed picked up her tea and school bag.

"I rarely get to linger over my tea in the morning," she explained, a crooked smile on her face. "The cup stays in my locker at school until the day is over. Oh, one more thing – my room and my mum's are upstairs, you guys are staying in the guest room down the hall on _this_ floor. There is no reason for you to go upstairs at all unless you want to shower."

"Not me, Chicky."

"I prefer to not get my feathers wet."

"I hope your day goes well Miss Haru."

She nodded and with a last "See ya," as she left the kitchen, Haru left for the last day of term.

"Hey Haru."

"Hey Hiromi."

The best friends met on a corner a block away from school.

"So, how'd Machida take it?"

Haru had discussed her decision with her best friend the previous day, before giving it to the guy who thought to be her first boyfriend.

"It was exhausting, explaining to him that I really just wasn't interested. I think I got my point home though – shutting the door in his face may have been a little extreme, but it's undeniable. He has _such_ an ego."

"What'd he say?"

"He asked me who the guy was that I thought was cooler than him – like he was the coolest guy in the world and anyone threatening him in that position was due for a fight."

"Ooh, ouch. What did you say?"

"I told him that there were lots of guys cooler than him, but I named Tsuge, 'cause he's my cousin and I can say that safely – you know?"

The blonde nodded.

"Well, last day of term – packing up and having a party. Then next week is graduation, once the teachers have everything sorted out. It'll be good to have all this behind us for a while, huh?"

Haru nodded, though un-enthusiastically.

"What's wrong?"

"Didn't sleep all that well," Haru mumbled. It was half a lie – she _had_ slept well, she just hadn't slept all that _much_ , which, in the scheme of things, amounted to the same difference.

She had been denied her sleep by worrying about Louise, and having the Bureau in her home. On one hand: uncertain death. On the other: a very high possibility of getting her heart broken.

It was a good thing that she wasn't going to be expected to do any bookwork today.

She sipped at her tea while she waited for the streetlights to change. She sighed – wonderfully soothing.

The school day passed as most school days did; except that there was more moving of furniture than usual.

"Haru, are you sure you won't –"

" _No_ , Machida."

She walked faster than usual on the way home, not wanting his company and hoping to lose him.

"Miss Haru! Miss Haru?"

She knew that smarmy voice. She didn't even have to turn around; it was better that she not. If she lay eyes on the stupidly happy little face, she would only want to step on it. Natoru… or was it Natori? She could never quite remember which was which. Either way, the toady of a brown cat was a headache.

"Thank you Natoru, that will be all. Are you the infamous Miss Haru?"

She didn't recognise the voice, but it was a cat's – that was certain. She had come to know the difference between the voice of a cat and a human. There was a certain amount of "meow" and "purr" in a cat's voice that wasn't in a person's. This one also had an aristocratic British accent – which meant that it was probably Louise.

Act like you don't speak cat, she'll think she has the wrong person.

"Hmm. Perhaps she moved and that foolish cat was mistaken. Humans do look so alike after all."

Don't react. Do not react. Act like you can't find you house key.

It wasn't that much of an act. She _always_ lost her house key somewhere about her person – or in the bottom of her bag – and today she had all the last of her school stuff with her, so there were more bags to search for her keys.

"Where _are_ those _stupid keys_?" she demanded quietly of the world in general, moving on to the third bag.

"I must have the wrong Haru Yoshioka – their majesties couldn't possibly think so highly of a girl who cannot even get into her own house. Oh well, back to waiting for my dear Humbert at the Bureau."

"Aha!" she had found them at last – and Louise was gone.

Rather than heading for the kitchen, or even calling out that she was home, the first thing that Haru did was take all her stuff up to her room.

"Keep going! I've got him, he's not getting away!"

Haru stopped sharply. Muta's voice should not have been coming from the other side of her bedroom door.

"No Muta, I think we'd better stop before Haru gets home and catches us."

Toto shouldn't have been in her room either.

Muta, plus Toto, plus "Keep going – he's not getting away", equals – all three of them in her room. It seemed that Baron was being held captive, but they were still _all_ in _her_ room. A place she had told them _not_ to go.

Haru opened her door.

They all looked up at her.

Toto was perched on her desk, reading from what looked suspiciously like her diary. Muta had Baron pinned to the floor.

"You couldn't wait even twenty-four hours before breaking my trust." The girl's voice was deadpan, flat, shocked, an edge of anger hanging around it. "What happened to 'I respect a woman that stands up for herself'?"

"I _am_ a criminal," Muta pointed out.

"Sorry Haru," Toto said, closing the diary with his beak.

Baron couldn't say anything – his face was still pressed into the carpet.

"Perhaps I should go back outside and call Louise in. She won't have gotten too far down the street yet."

Silence, shocked and horrified silence, greeted her words.

"Muta – out. I like you, you're like the mildly annoying big brother that I never had, but you should _never_ have done this. The same goes for you too Toto – I can't believe that you did this. You can sleep in the hammock outside, but you're not coming in again for a _long_ time."

"Miss Haru," Baron started, pulling himself up from the carpet as Muta slunk out the door shamefully, Toto walking behind him, dragging his wings.

"Baron," she cut him off, kneeling down to be on a better level with him. "You need to confront Louise eventually. I'm not going to kick you out and force you to face her – she is an intimidating prospect, but I want you to face up to her."


	3. Chapter 3

"This is not a good idea Chicky."

"If you think it's so stupid, go hide somewhere, hang out at the Crossroads and scam a few lunches."

"I am _not_ about to _eat_ while _you_ face the witch-cat."

"It's not _me_ I'm worried about."

Baron was silent. If it had been anyone else, he would have been able to say no, but it was Haru asking him – and it had been right after she had caught them all reading her diary. That innocent looking little book had turned his world upside down, righted it, then thrown it in the blender.

"Haru!"

"Oh, hey Machida." It was a very un-enthused tone.

"Mind if I walk with you?"

"Yes."

"Great!"

Haru rolled her eyes. So did Muta as he walked along beside her, as well as Toto and Baron as they rode on her shoulders.

Eventually, they reached the refuge. Muta had shown Haru another way there, one that didn't involve clambering over rooftops. However, it was no more memorable than the other way. It was just a sudden turn down a nondescript alley.

"So you _were_ the right Haru Yoshioka. It was very rude of you to not answer yesterday."

"I have made a point of ignoring strange cats who know my name since I was almost turned into an unwilling bride – but you aren't interested in me I think."

"Only if you're interested in my Humbert."

"I am _**not**_ _your Humbert_!" The gentleman cat almost yelled, leaping down from Haru's shoulder.

"Why would my Haru be interested in a cat?"

"I am _**not**_ _your Haru_!" she hissed, pinching Machida's ear.

"I have a solution to this!" Louise said, a wicked glint in her eye.

"Please share," Haru almost drawled.

"Let's make the matches perfect."

Louise planted a walking stick of ebony solidly on the cobbles before her and started chanting. Silver light started swirling around her.

"That cant' be good." For once Toto and Muta seemed to agree on something – they'd said it at the same time.

"Well, this _isn't_ what I expected to happen… which is unusual, considering that it was _my_ spell."

Haru looked around, then looked up. There was a woman standing where Louise had been, but she was dressed the way Haru had been dressed, and she was looking at her hands and touching her face. Machida was staring in that dumb, love-struck way that had graced his features when Haru had shown up at school with short hair the first time.

A hand touched her shoulder, and she turned.

"Haru?"

"Yep. How've you been Baron?"

He gasped a quiet laugh and wrapped his arms around her, trapping her firmly in his warm hold.

"Machida."

"Louise."

"You're beautiful."

Haru suppressed laughter, hearing that conversation above and behind her. They deserved each other: egotistical narcissists.

Toto flew Haru back to her house. Muta helped her carry her diary down the stairs and onto the kitchen table, where she opened it and wrote a last entry and note to her mother.

Dear Mum, I'm eloping. Love Haru.

"I think that covers it."

"Mmhm," agreed Baron, wrapping an arm around his Haru's waist and nuzzling her hair.


End file.
